Shoplifting-Virus Outbreak: Mass looting occurs as panicked civilians attempt to flee spread of infection

Emergency quarantine camps with 24/7 military supervision, built out of concrete and iron bars, are being used to protect those with confirmed and suspected cases of kleptonavirus, including staff members alike; until special, protective rights can be invented for their novel legal statuses.

Since the military is the one sector of society responsible for consuming the majority of all resources, their increased deployment upon this commercial battleground means that supplies are becoming tight. Panicked civilians are responding by looting whatever is left in an effort to prepare for inevitable shortages.

An allegedly local woman, Mrs Tit Fibulous, had this to say about her reaction to the looting frenzy - “I musta gone gots myself that darn virus cos I can’t stop stealing!”

It is suspected that unknown numbers of civilians are feigning infection in order to: get out of work, attain unaffordable desires, or for a rent-free existence in the luxurious quarantine facilities.