Fortune Favours the Slave: World Misleaders convene at Davos summit to discuss ‘teletubbies’ great reset proposal

The dream-tank commitee are challenging ‘what it means to be human’ with the following short-term goals:

• Bodyfication-screens implanted directly onto everyone’s tubbies.

• 7G masts installed across ‘tubby-kingdom’ beaming verified information from trusted experts into said tubbies.

• Biometric surveillance periscope-network (CCSV - Closed Circuit Smellovision to analyse farts and other excretions).

• Automated AI hygiene-bots to impose strict measures against uncommon cold.

• Loud-speakers parlaying lockdown schedules and appropriate times for curfew.

• Teletubbies own nothing and are happy; except for one allowed item by which to establish unique identities.

• GMO-jabs create ‘rainbow-race of beings’ to ensure adequate diversity and to assign race-based gender-identities in the absence of genitalia (to avoid sexually-transmitted pregnancies).

• Augmented metaverse: the sun will have a baby’s face on it to appease would-be mothers.

• Daily half-rations of ‘tubby-custard’ and ‘tubby-toast’ to end world hunger and allow the planet to heal.

• Reintroduction of bunnies to their native habitats.
  
  Doctor Dick Riculous applauds the proposal, saying: “This all sounds good to me. The myriad crises facing our planet are far too urgent for us to waste time with rational contemplation. We need these measures implemented immediately!” By now, you should have somehow realised what you’ve got to do, but instead you will sit there and passively accept that the teletubbification of humanity is an inevitability and that you are to enjoy it.