Breaking Olds: Eons Detected at Cern

Eons are believed to play a vital role in a process called Quantum Time Wasting - a process by which time disappears when observed at about room temperature.

Professor Rick Diculous had this to say... “Similar to quarks in nuclide hadrons, eons themselves are composed of smaller epochs. By colliding the Age-of-Reason with Post-Modernism, clouds of positively charged imaginons and 1/2 spun holographic mysterions start to emerge. It’s hard to know how much spin these particles are really getting.”

Many would say that we’ve always been aware of what time is, even before science was invented.

But furthermore, scientists are now proposing a brand new Quantum Tense, which operates outside the standard linguistical tenses - past, present, and future - to help understand what these astonishing claims might potentially mean.

“If I were have trying to described an event which hasn’t being happened soon, then this tense will have being become necessary for detailing the effects of these particles,” concludes Professor Diculous.